Roddy Reviews - The Top 5 Marvel Movies

Hey everybody, as you can see I'm taking a break from Middle-Earth (but I'll get back to it eventually) and randomly thought I'd make a list of my top 5 Marvel films. Keep in mind this is my opinion and all that. I'm not trying to force you to like them, or saying this is what they are, this is just where I think they stand. 

Anyway, on with the list!

5) Guardians of the Galaxy

This is normally the film which Marvel fans turn to when people say the MCU doesn't have any ambition. I mean it's a high-budget film based on a comic that hardly anyone knows about, in which some of the main characters consist of a raccoon and a sentient tree which only says "I am Groot". Why Marvel had so much faith in this project I have no idea, but it ends up resulting in a pretty damn good time. It's a weird phenomenon where all the odds are stacked

Love these guys.

against it, and yet it ends up being a massive critical hit and one of the MCU's most beloved films. Now if that isn't ambitious, I don't know what is. 

Story-wise it isn't really anything special; the plot is pretty generic and sticks close to the regular 'Marvel Formula' (basically a recurring theme in Marvel which makes it impossible for a Marvel film to be bad, but equally not great, just good) but I can understand why. With a film as risky as this, you want to keep it fairly safe at an enjoyable level, and wait to see if it's a success before going anywhere with it. 

The villain is also bland and boring with no interesting motivations or anything unique about him. Why is Marvel so bad with all of their villains? The only one that really makes an impression is Loki, and even he's starting to get to the point where he's overused. 

The thing about this film is a similar case to The Avengers and Suicide Squad; it's the characters and acting that carry the film. The way they comedically interact with their own distinct personalities makes it very enjoyable to watch. The CGI is also pretty impressive, and there's no proper flaws in the story. That's what happens when your story is simple; it's difficult to find things to dislike. 

Overall, it's a really fun and enjoyable film, definitely worth the watch. I'm going to give it a Roddy Rating of 7/10.

4) Avengers Assemble

This is the film where Marvel took ultimate domination as a cinematic universe (I'm not saying it's better, but it's definitely way more dominant on the big screen). The Avengers, each with their own origin film (Not many of which are all that good) to establish their character, now come together to fight Loki, Thor's fan-favourite brother. What can I really say about it? It's a really good, fun time which allows for several laughs for the audience and utter epicness for the comic book fans. It's a win-win really. But again, my problems with it lie in the fact that the story and plot are basic. Even Loki isn't as good or interesting as he was in Thor; no tragic motivations or character development, just there for the Avengers to fight and make cheap jokes. Although, it is hard to find proper flaws in it due to how basic it is, and the film itself is still really good. This is why I'd hate reviewing a Marvel film properly; it would get tiring saying the same thing over and over.

Epic tracking shot.

The thing in this film which won audiences over was the extremely loveable characters and how they each interact with each other. They all have their own personalities that shine. Except Hawkeye. His time was to come 3 years later. There isn't as much diversities in the characters as there is in the Justice League, like polar opposites such as Batman and Superman, but still enough to give them a distinct personality. 

The action and CGI was also fantastic, even if it is just fighting a faceless army. But the thing is, that's just what people wanted. People wanted to see the characters introduced and just kicking arse. The character development and taking the characters forward comes in the sequels; this is just establishing them as a badass team. Although, the sequel, Age of Ultron, doesn't take the characters or story anywhere new, but I'm not reviewing that here. What we got in Avengers was a solid film with likeable characters and fun action.

I am therefore going to Roddy Rate it a 7/10. Same as Guardians, I know, but I just prefer it despite it not being quite good enough to get a whole other rating.

3) Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Man I love this one. The Russo Bros make their big debut as directors in the MCU with Cap 2 and it is awesome. Captain America, the one who was largely overshadowed by the other Avengers who's first film wasn't that impressive, now gets a film that does him justice and shows him for the badass he truly is. Even though I'm not a comic book fan (I've never read a comic book. Ever) I still noticed how underwhelming Cap was before. But with this film really took him to a whole new level.

The pacing was much more solid, feeling more like a thriller than

The action scenes were awesome.

your average blockbuster. The action scenes were way more gritty and realistic and felt less like a comic book film. They were fast-paced, extremely well choreographed and added a lot of intensity which the previous films lacked. The tone of the film was also more of my preference; it actually took itself seriously and more realistically than Avengers and Guardians. The humour also felt more situational and didn't feel like the characters were just spewing one-liners to try and be funny; it actually felt like it worked in that situation.

The plot also begins to break out of the regular Marvel Formula, although it doesn't quite manage it. Hydra, previously led by the un-threatening Red Skull (In the film anyway) has now been upped in scale by a thousand and you feel like it's a genuine threat that needs to be stopped. I loved how the stakes actually felt high. In the other ones, you never felt the gravity of it as they were just fun comic book films. This one though manages to be fun and more gritty/realistic. Again, though, the villain is bland yet they do something interesting with him at first but completely ditched him. I can't talk about it because of hardcore spoilers but you'll hopefully know what I'm talking about.

I'm going to happily rate this one an 8/10.

2) Iron Man

Iron Man. A superhero basically unknown to the general audiences before 2008. After that year though, he's become possibly more popular than icons like Batman and Superman. It genuinely baffles me how Marvel managed to create a highly successful cinematic universe when their first entry's hero was pretty much a B-lister. Although, I'm not complaining, because Iron Man is a pretty damn great film.

This was one of the two MCU films which Marvel produced without being owned by Disney (the other being the Incredible Hulk), and it kind of shows. The tone in this one is somewhat different to any other film in the MCU. Everything else-wise though, it's pretty much exactly the same, just better. It's a great origin story, with lots of effort put into it, with an interesting story arc and an extremely loveable main character. In terms of action though, what we got was

This defined Iron Man.

really fun, but we could have had more. The last fight, whilst having some cool scenes, wasn't anything spectacular. The rest of it though was great. As I said about the tone, it feels less like a regular family film, and the humour is more mature and teen-like, and ended up making it more entertaining than other films in the MCU.

Whilst the other origin stories were just regular blockbusters, this film actually brought a lot to the table in terms of superhero films. It showed that they don't have to be one extreme or the other in terms of light-heartedness vs seriousness. This film was a perfect blend, hitting all the right notes. It just felt unique in its own way, and none of the other MCU films have managed to hit their mark like this one. It owned itself and didn't try and fit into any formulas or safe-zones. 

Therefore, I'm going to Roddy Rate Iron Man at 8/10.

1) Captain America: Civil War

This is by far my favourite film in the MCU. Not only did it make me feel an actual emotion other than "That was cool" or "I enjoyed that", but a proper emotion, it also attempts to make the audience think about what they would do in that situation; who would they side with. It doesn't only do this once, either, but with multiple situations. There's the first half with the Sokovia Accords (the first half is definitely my favourite by the way) and the second half where it gets a bit more personal but the dilemna is still there.

They also include a motivation for the villain which fits in with the whole Accords debate, which I really enjoyed. The villain himself though didn't really have much of a character, and the way he engineered it all relied on a bit too many variables. 

Panther is a certified badass.

The second half of the film drops in quality slightly though, becoming less thought-provoking and more of a straightforward Marvel film. I never disliked it at points, it was just doing so well and then dropped. The first half though was really great. It completely broke out the Marvel formula, with a story that wasn't basic but still manages to nail the characters, even better than what Age of Ultron did. That's another good part of the film actually; each character gets their shining moment. Whether it be awesome new characters like Black Panther (who was amazing by the way. Definitely my favourite character in the film) who comes and does badass things with his own origin story and character arc, or unnecessary but cool characters like Ant-Man who ultimately serve no purpose in being there but are still enjoyable to have. Spiderman was also really good in the film, definitely my favourite one onscreen so far. I wasn't a fan of the suit itself, though. The CGI looked really CGI. He also kind of served little purpose in the film, and while he was cool, he had a severe lack of motivations to be there.

The action in this film is also epic. I already mentioned how Panther's action scenes are amazing, but the rest of the action is damn good too. It's what I love about the Russo Bros directing this film; they didn't compromise by giving us one thing and taking away another, for example giving us good characters but taking away a good story, no, they actually give us a good amount of everything. 

There's the somewhat iconic Airport fight scene, which to me was really fun and enjoyable but it's where I noticed it was turning into a normal Marvel film. The action itself was good, but the constant one-liners and jokes took away the gravity of anything that was going on. For the rest of the film though, the humour was perfectly situational; knowing when to be funny and knowing when to be serious. The airport scene just didn't quite capture that so well. Still, epic scene. 

The emotion I was talking about comes in the last fight, where, after a decline in quality, it all comes together in an actually intense and emotional fight between friends. The reviews were making it out to be brutal, but...it

Such an awesome fight scene.

wasn't quite that. It was a bit short and they only got some bruises from it, but it was still really good. Just a shame it didn't go on for longer. 

The weakest part of this film though was the ending, which rounded it all off way too nicely and took away any real consequence of the previous fight. I dunno, it could have ended on a really emotional note but it chose the easy way out. That's Marvel I guess.

Overall, it's a really good film which is not only enjoyable but manages to be something more. Sadly, I doubt we'll see something of this caliber again from Marvel. I'm going to Roddy Rate Civil War at 8.5/10.

Thank you all for reading, and I'll see you soon, possibly for a return to Middle-Earth but I doubt it. The Hobbit films were a real task to get through. Anyway, goodbye!

Roddy Reviews - The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies

Hey everyone, and welcome back to Roddy Reviews, as we round off the Hobbit trilogy with, in my opinion, the worst film out of the three. Whilst the other two had good moments which outweigh the bad, this one was just boring throughout the second half. There's a specific point where it goes downhill, but I'll talk about that in the spoiler section.

This one is the perfect example as to why the trilogy should have been made into two films instead; there is so much in there just to try and carry the film for another hour, and my god does it make it boring. The first half is really good, especially with Smaug, but the second half is just a downwards spiral. I suppose that's what happens when you try to turn a few pages of the book into an hour-long sequence for the film. 

Whilst it isn't terrible, it's got some downright awful and insulting moments in there, but still just enough good things to get it over the 5/10 mark. Even if only barely. It's definitely a big step backwards from the other two, with more bad moments and less good moments.

 Again though, the Extended Edition has just enough changes to get it a higher rating. It adds more fun action scenes, explains a plot hole, and gives us more of the good stuff.

 Anyway, time to get into the spoiler section, so skip to the bottom if you just want the rating. 

So eeeeeepic!

The film starts almost directly after we left off; with Smaug heading to Laketown to unleash pure hell. And that's exactly what he does. We get a full epic 5-10 minutes of Smaug obliterating the crap out of this place. Good riddance I say. Of course, Bard breaks out of prison in a rather...convenient way. If anything had been different, like the master's direction or timing, then Bard would've failed. Nitpicks though. We get more extended edition changes straight away too. Not much, but I'm happy with anything that increases the time we get with the decimation of Smaug. So Bard fights his way up to the Bell-tower and starts shooting Smaug. Of course, the arrows have no effect as Smaug continues destroying everything. Then Bain, Bard's son, shows up with the blackarrow he hid (honestly I can't even remember if the blackarrows were in the book, so I'm just going to go along with it) and kill as

Noooooooooooooooooooooo!

much time as possible until Smaug's weakspot is eventually exposed. They then take the shot and hit their mark, and Smaug goes flying around, screaming and writhing in a slightly undignified way, and eventually falls down, killing the Master in doing so.

We then get a brief cut to Gandalf in Dol Guldur, now a prisoner there, as he hears Galadriel's voice in his head. This scene literally lasts about 20 seconds, so it doesn't really serve much purpose.

I know this is from the second film.
Shush.

We then see Azog, riding his white warg again (which soon disappears, never to be seen again by the way) along with an army of orcs. And I just have to say, this army of orcs is tiny. I understand that the Battle of the Five Armies was nowhere near the scale of Helm's Deep or the Battle of the Pelennor Fields, but come on. That's what will defeat the combined strength of Elves, Men and Dwarves? Really? I guess Azog realised this too, as he sends Bolg up to Gundabad to awaken yet another orc army. Keep in mind, Gundabad is near Angmar, so it's strange that he managed to get over there and back in about two days.

Actually, no, I need to talk about that whole Bolg thing a bit more, since Legolas and Tauriel also head that way. Basically, here's where they would have had to go to get to Gundabad. 

Yeah. Pretty damn far. Especially since it really doesn't take them very long to get there
and back.

Back to Laketown, now the next morning, and everything is in ruins. The people are in pretty poor condition, their town has just been incinerated, and they're all a bit cranky. Understandably so. Bard then shows up, an old guy proclaims he saw Bard kill Smaug (how, by the way? Everywhere around Bard was kind of burnt down and I'm sure nobody would have stuck around to see if anyone happened to kill Smaug with a blackarrow). Everyone takes his word for it as they make Bard their next leader. Side-note; I really like Bard in these films. He's pretty much just how I envisioned him in the book. He's a good leader, but

Kili gives Tauriel his rune
which was his promise he'd
come home. Subtle movie.
Subtle.

he's also modest. I didn't like Alfrid though. He wasn't insulting to the point of Jar Jar Binks but his sole purpose was for quick, cheap laughs that nobody truly finds funny. Anyway, everybody goes their separate ways as Fili, Kili, Oin and Bofur head off to the Lonely Mountain. This of course means Kili and Tauriel get another 'touching' scene where Kili literally says he loves her (in Dwarvish). You already know where I stand on the 'Kiliel' thing; it's terrible, insulting and extremely hard to watch. Legolas then takes Tauriel up to Gundabad. Not entirely sure why Legolas decided to head up there, but I guess he thought it would be important?

We now return to Gandalf at Dol Guldur, which is actually one of the best parts of the film. We see the White Council; Saruman, Galadriel, Radagast, Elrond and Gandalf all working together to fight back the Nazgul and banish Sauron back to Mordor. And yes, that's exactly what happened. Gandalf even mentions it in the book, although he refers to Sauron as the Necromancer. It's a pretty intense scene as Galadriel is pushed to the limit in her attempts at banishing Sauron

Bye Sauron! See you in 60
years!

whilst Saruman and Elrond fight off the Nazgul. I also like the way the Nazgul looked in this one; they look far better than those white kings in An Unexpected Journey and the Fellowship of the Ring. Not the robed ones, those are what you think of when you think Nazgul, but the white kings. I never liked the look of those. Radagast then rescues Gandalf and takes him to his home in Greenwood, where, in the Extended Edition, there's a rather heartwarming scene where Radagast gives Gandalf his staff. This is exactly the same staff that Gandalf uses in Fellowship, so it was nice seeing how he gets it. 

Fili, Kili, Oin and Bofur then arrive at the Lonely Mountain where they find everybody still alive, but Thorin's pretty much possessed by his newfound love of the gold there. It's where we spend a lot of the half, and they do a few nice touches in which it's implied that he's becoming similar to Smaug, for example saying the same things Smaug said. Bit of a coincidence but still, it's cool. It turns out that Bilbo stole the arkenstone (the king's jewel), the item that Thorin is currently making everyone slave away to find. Also, if you pay enough attention, you'll notice the heaps of gold look less real in this film. In the second one, they looked more dull and realistic, but in this one they're way too shiny and look more CGI. Minor nitpick though. Thorin and Bilbo also get a nice heartwarming scene about the acorn, which pretty much shows how Thorin, despite becoming an arsehole, still finds the innocence of hobbits too adorable to stay an arsehole. Then, Dwalin walks in and says that survivors from Laketown are streaming into Dale. I really enjoy the Thorin moments in this bit, really good acting from Richard Armitage. His facial expression when he sees Dale lit up shows how paranoid he's becoming and even panics slightly.

And over to Dale. Bard and the survivors of Laketown, now settled in Dale, find themselves allied with the Elves of Mirkwood. Just like that. No buildup, they're just there. I understand that news of the death of Smaug would travel quickly, but seriously? That goddamn quickly? Oh well, anyways, Thranduil talks about how he's willing to go to war (and attempts to justify it) because of the heirlooms of his people. Because, motivation eh. But Bard, being the accurately-written noble man he is, offers to try and talk Thorin out of being a complete utter twat about everything. So Bard meets Thorin and the two try and talk

Ok. This awkward slide
isn't exactly how I
imagined it ending. 

things out, and of course this doesn't go very well. This is actually one of my favourite parts of the film; Bard is clearly in the right, making several valid points throughout the argument, and you see Thorin knows it despite his rebuttals, but he's just too damn stubborn to do anything. I dunno, it's just exactly how I imagined it. Anyway, the argument completely fails and Bard goes back to Dale empty-handed. Thranduil scoffs at this (again, Lee Pace's iffy snobby Thranduil. There's just something about him I don't like) and says they'll attack at dawn. 

We then cut to montages (yes, montages. Those are still a thing sadly) of both sides preparing for all-out war against each other. Afterwards, we see Thorin giving Bilbo his mithril shirt in a scene which really solidifies their friendship. You genuinely feel like they trust each other. We then get Thorin acting a bit weirdly, showing how his paranoia has driven him to even doubt his other friends and accuse them of stealing the Arkenstone. He says the same stuff as Smaug again, in case we didn't realise they were becoming similar (yes, sarcasm. The metaphors were largely overdone) in an unnecessarily heavy scene with each Dwarf marching in slow-mo. 

Aaand cut to Gundabad, which in fairness does look pretty cool. As you can tell with the jumping around though, the editing is a bit choppy in this film, and it stays that way. We're also only there for a brief filler and some exposition, so we don't ask 'where did those orcs come from?' when they show up and ultimately serve nothing. Honestly, why did the Gundabad army even exist? It serves nothing to the story; they don't show up until the very end of the battle, and even then they just get annihilated by the Eagles. Although, it acts as a scene where Legolas tells Tauriel about his mother dying here, I guess to add more conflict into their love triangle? Ugh. I hate Tauriel.

Back to Dale again(?) as we see Gandalf arrive and warn Thranduil and Bard about the orc army about to attack the next morning though. And being the unbiased wizard he is, Thranduil just assumes he's full of BS and just says "Nah there ain't no orcs" in a snobbier way. I swear, by the end of this review I will nail down what I didn't like about Lee Pace as Thranduil. It's just..ugh, I don't know yet.

Night then falls as we cut back to the Lonely Mountain. In the Extended Edition, we get a nice heartwarming scene between Bofur and Bilbo (much like their scene in the Misty Mountains. Love Bofur) and then resume the main version. Bilbo decides to take a trip to Dale, where he meets with Gandalf, Bard and Thranduil and shows them that he in fact has the Arkenstone. Love this scene.

Lee Pace's dry attitude actually allows for a bit of humour, and Bilbo acts exactly how he did in the book; innocent and always trying to help his friends. Although, at this point, Bilbo's overshadowing by Thorin is beginning to grow. It fully comes into fruition once the battle starts, but more on that later. This scene itself though was really well-done and I enjoyed it. Yes, even the Alfrid part was good. 

Anyway, tensions are rising the next morning as the Dwarves, with Bilbo now back at the Lonely Mountain, prepare for the war that Bilbo reckons they'll lose. The Elves and Men are now seen in all their glory (despite the army looking a bit small) outside the Mountain as Bard tries to reason with Thorin one last time. Now comes my favourite scene of the film. Bard takes out the Arkenstone and tries to use it to barter for their portion of the gold, which you know he will give it back, because Bard's an honourable guy, and Thorin completely starts to lose it,

Such a good scene.

getting angry beyond measure. The Extended Edition also has Thranduil taunting Thorin, suggesting for Bard to sell the stone to Ecthelion of Gondor (nice touch with the lore accuracy by the way) as Thorin paces back and forth, clearly unsure of what to do. Bilbo then comes forward saying he gave them the Arkenstone, resulting in Thorin going absolutely mad and even tries to make the other Dwarves throw him off the ramparts. It actually gave me chills the first time I watched it; the Dwarves have grown to like Bilbo so much that they're even willing to disobey their king so they don't have to hurt him. The acting and editing in this scene was perfect. 

The CGI isn't that great.

However, the next scene is the point of the film where it all starts to go downhill and results in an hour of boredom, for the most part. King Dain arrives, played by a CGI Billy Connolly. Now, don't get me wrong, I completely understand why they couldn't have Billy himself there; Parkinson's made it too difficult. But instead of having him voice his lines and making him CGI, why not just have him say the lines and have a lookalike actor on set? Or even just someone dressed in dwarf prosthetics? It doesn't make any sense to me, and while the character himself is fun, he's somewhat jarring to look at, especially around the other characters. He's not terrible though, just takes you out of the film slightly. Again, not Connolly's fault, he was great, it's just studio laziness.

This tactic isn't very clever though.
The pikes are just gonna ram through
them!

So the Dwarves and Elves have their standoff for a couple of minutes, and in the Extended Edition...they fight. Yep. The Dwarves and Elves actually fight. This is both better and worse than the theatrical; it's more action but makes the Orcs look even more stupid because they attack after they've started fighting! Why wouldn't you just wait for them to finish each other off! Anyway, the Orcs start coming out of the hills using Were-worms (which they could have used to obliterate everyone) and the Dwarves, Elves and Men go to fight them off in a pretty well-choreographed fight sequence. I do like how it shows the different tactics each race uses. But then...nothing new happens for ages. It's just them fighting and trying to get control of each area. They try and make it interesting with some silly Orc tactics (like that troll with the rock on its head) but they just make it more goofy and no less boring. I'm not going to go into it scene by scene, because we'd be here all day; it's constantly going back and forth, and it's just filled with mindless sword-fighting and obvious CGI. Gandalf and Bilbo disappear until the end of the battle too, and sort of just spectate it. Not great when one of those is supposed to be the main character.

So eventually, after some 20-30 minutes of fighting, more forced Alfrid jokes, and Bard being unnecessarily inspiring, something actually happens as Thorin, after giving a death threat to Dwalin (and Dwalin actually teared up. Pretty emotional that) goes to be alone and reflect on what he's turning into. In a pretty obvious metaphor, he has a vision that the gold literally swallows him, showing how he's essentially being swallowed by his love for gold. Again, it's too obvious, although I appreciate how they tried it. The dramatic music and visions then suddenly stop as he throws off his crown, ending the scene on a subtle yet meaningful note.

Lol no.

Of course we need to have an overdramatic close-up with some wind that wouldn't exist there. Ugh, wasted opportunity right there, film. 

So Thorin, after having now realised what an idiot he's been, goes back over to the Dwarves and Kili goes on a rant to him and Thorin comforts him, saying that their family won't hide from a fight, whilst Fili...says and does nothing. Seriously, they give way too much screentime to Kili and not enough time to Fili. Especially since Fili's the older one and, y'know, meant to be King next. So the Dwarves outside are all surrounded and being pushed up against the gate, nearly defeated, when 13 Dwarves run out to save the day. Seriously, how did

To the King! 

an extra 13 make much of a difference? I get that they're rallying to Thorin, but they then manage to overpower the Orcs that are surrounding them. I dunno, it's weird. Anyway the scene itself is awesome with an epic soundtrack playing in the background.

So we get another 10 minutes of fighting, more forced Alfrid humour, and all that crap, until Gandalf and Bilbo (who seem to be our commentators now) notice Thorin is taking Fili, Kili and Dwalin on goats(?) up to Ravenhill to kill Azog. In the theatrical version, the goats come out of nowhere but in the extended edition, its shown that Dain first showed up with a bunch of goat-riders, so yeah, plot hole explained. The extended edition also gives us more fun action (not just mindless fighting, actual fun) including Bombur actually speaking and how the Dwarves got up to Ravenhill. Oh and, Alfrid gets killed off. Yep. He hides in a catapult and gets launched into a troll's mouth. To be fair though, how else was he going to get killed off? I'm just glad he's gone.

Ravenhill, though, is definitely the lowest point of the film. Sure, it has good moments, but it just drags so much and goes on for way too long, and you just want it to finish but it keeps going. And it doesn't help that this is where Tauriel and Legolas show up, because we really wanted more of them, right? Anyway, Legolas tells Gandalf about the Gundabad army and Bilbo heads up to warn Thorin that its a trap. We also get a scene between Thranduil, who's pretty much fed up of having his Elves killed off, and Tauriel. He then tells her that her love for Kili isn't real, and he is absolutely correct. I love how ironic it is; you're meant to be on Tauriel's side but I'm actually on Thranduil's here. Kill her off! Kill her off! Sadly Legolas has to be a hero and love triangle blah blah blah. Also, that feeling about Thranduil is still there in the back of my head. I agreed with him here, and he was right, but there's still something iffy about him. I'm sure I'll find out what it is eventually.

:(

Bilbo arrives at Ravenhill to warn Thorin too late though, because we get our first major death: Fili dies. And it is by far the saddest, and I hate how it was overshadowed by the melodrama of Kili's death. I just hate how little screentime and focus Fili gets; it seems like nobody really cares about his death anyway. Sadly, Fili didn't even get the classic warrior's death; in fact he died in one of the most tragically undignified hero deaths possible. He was stabbed in the back and thrown down a cliff. This makes Kili extremely angry though, as he goes on a killing spree of more Orcs. Like we haven't seen enough of that already. Thorin also runs off, where he engages Azog in what's supposed to be an epic final battle. Instead we get a pretty boring fight, good at first though, which goes on for way too long. 

Kili and Tauriel also reunite, with their own boss battle; Bolg. I'm not sure what to think of Bolg here. On the one hand he was supposed to be killed by Beorn, and that would've been awesome to see, but on the other hand he killed Kili. He has an endless amount of respect from me for his act of kindness. Kili's death is also drawn out for way too long and they keep acting like it won't happen, but

:D

we all know it will and we're all rooting for it to happen. Eventually, after 5 minutes of fake-outs, the sword goes through Kili and all is well in Middle-Earth once again. 

By this point, you can tell they're just making the fight go on for as long as they can to increase the running-time; Thorin's fight with Azog is just plain crap. It's slow, they fake out Azog's death for some reason and let him hold his breath for an endless amount of time, it's just boring. While this is going down, Legolas takes it upon himself to fight Bolg after Tauriel decided to cry in a corner about her 'tragic lost love' who she clearly would have wanted to die for, and decides to be completely and

You all knew this would be
in here.

utterly useless for the rest of the film. So we get the Legolas vs Bolg fight and....meh. It's got some pretty terrible moments in there. You all know what part I'm talking about; the part where Legolas goes full Mario and completely breaks physics. Other than that part, it's a perfectly adequate fight scene which gives some closure to their rivalry seen in the last film. Definitely would have preferred to see Beorn wiping the floor with Bolg though, but oh well, you can't have everything.

Anyway, Legolas eventually kills Bolg, and we cut back to Thorin fighting Azog which is still going. Although, the ending to it is pretty satisfactory; they both kill each other in the end. It brings their whole nemesis arc thing to a nice rounded off close. That and the beginning of the fight are the only good parts though. Anyway, as their fight is starting to come to a close, Thorin sees the Gundabad army approaching, which would definitely mean they're all doomed. But what happens when our heroes are in an inescapable danger? 

That's right baby. The eagles are coming! And the CGI on them is actually good in this film! And what's even better, Beorn shows up as he dive-bombs off one of the eagles and starts wiping the floor with some orcs. That's the Beorn I've been wanting to see! The extended edition also has an extra 10-15 seconds of Beorn, so the more the merrier. 

Ah man, the feels.

Anyway, Thorin and Azog's fight finally comes to an end as the two stab each other with Thorin dying more slowly. Bilbo finds Thorin laying down as the two share a genuinely sad and touching last moment together as they both make up from earlier and become best buddies again, as Thorin then slips away. Now that's how you do an emotional death. You don't need forced drama and slow-mo like Kili, you just need two friends who you genuinely believe are friends and leave them to it. 

Cut over to Tauriel, still mourning over Kili as she gets out the rune that he gave to her. Sorry but that whole rune thing was so bloody obvious that it'd be used just to force in a sad story about Kili that he never gave it back to his mother. Shame on you Pete, shame on you! We also get a nice father/son moment between Thranduil and Legolas, where Thranduil shows that he actually does care about and love Legolas, which was kind of a subplot. He sends Legolas off to find Strider in the North, and I'm not sure how lore accurate this is, as I don't know if Legolas and Aragorn actually had any history together. Oh well, it's a good scene that ties it into Lotr. Also, side note: everyone hates how Legolas is more aggressive and feisty in the Hobbit films than the Lotr ones, and I understand why. I mean the studio's official excuse was that Legolas is younger here. Younger. He's 60 years younger! That's nothing to an Elf! I do have my own theory though; maybe Aragorn, who would also be going through his training at this point, reflected what he was taught onto Legolas and ultimately taught him to be more level-headed. Huh? Huh? Good eh? 

Oh yeah, and speaking of Lotr inconsistencies, lots of people think that there's a plot hole with Gandalf. If he met Sauron in Dol Guldur, why would he have to research him? I'll get to that in my Fellowship of the Ring review though.

Again though, as nice as the scene between Thranduil and Legolas is, I can't bring myself to properly like how Thranduil's portrayed in the films. Although, now I know why. 

JUST F**K OFF TAURIEL. 

Thranduil walks over to Tauriel, who won't stop bloody crying, as she says some pretty cringeworthy things. The most noteable of which being "If this is love, I do not want it." It's just. I just. Ugh. YOU KNEW HIM FOR 4 DAYS AT THE MOST. YOU CAN'T CHANGE YOUR WHOLE LIFE BASED ON IT. Ok. That's out of my system now. I'm all good.

So, back to why I don't like how Thranduil is portrayed. It's not got much to do with his snobbishness, it's more about something he says here. She asks why it hurts so much, and he answers...

"Because it was real."

Thranduil.

No.

It was not real. Nothing changed since you accused it of not being real. All that's happened is Kili died. That's it. It doesn't solidify their forced, annoying, insulting relationship. If anything it tears it apart, because y'know, he's dead. Anyway now that I've nailed why I didn't like Tauriel, it's time to finally finish it off. The ending in the Extended Edition is much more solid and well-rounded; it has the funeral of Thorin, Fili and Kili, and the crowning of Dain. They both still seem a bit rushed though. 

So it comes to a close, as Bilbo says a nice heartfelt goodbye to everyone and heads back to the Shire with Gandalf and has a bit of last-minute book accurate filler before the film ends where it started in the Fellowship of the Ring, going full circle.

And there you have it. It's definitely a large step back from the other two, but it has its own fair share of enjoyable moments. I can still understand someone hating this one though. It's extremely obnoxious at times and ultimately fails at stretching a few pages into a feature length film. Is it terrible though? No, this doesn't compare to some films I class as 'terrible'. This isn't even a bad film in my book, it's just a mediocre disappointment. 

Therefore, I am going to Roddy Rate the film at a 6/10.

I'm also going to rate the Extended Edition at a 6.5/10.

Thanks for reading everybody, and I'll see you in the next review!

Roddy Reviews - The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Hello, and welcome to Roddy Reviews!

We return to Middle-Earth as the time comes to tackle the Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug!

Firstly, this is definitely my favourite film in the trilogy. It's a more solid and fun film than the other two, with some amazing moments (with its own fair share of absolutely crap moments) that largely outweigh the crap. The action in this film is more stepped up from the last film, which was sort of lackluster in that area, and it's more believable than lots of the action in the next film.

The CGI in this film is also much better than the other two, not quite looking realistic but certainly less cartoonish. However, there are also lots of changes from the book in this film, which is understandable, as it needs to be fleshed out enough to cover a feature film. That brings me onto another point; the scenes in this film have a smoother flow to them and don't feel dragged out as much. Although some parts like Laketown do go on for too long, but overall it's a much better film than the other two.

The changes from the book are sort of hit-and-miss. I love Gandalf and the Necromancer, I think it's a good way of tying it into the Lotr trilogy and also making a lot of sense within this trilogy. Except Azog, he was pointless. Bolg could easily have been the main villain and it would work just as well, and make much more sense. Other changes don't work so well either. What they were going for with Tauriel and Kili completely falls flat on its face, but I shall get to that in a bit.

Unlike the first film, there are also noticeable changes in the Extended Edition, enough for me to even change my Roddy Rating between the two. The Extended Edition is much better, giving us scenes more accurate to the book (especially those ones that people were complaining weren't there) and also makes the Necromancer stuff make much more sense. Again, I'll get to those in the detailed section. 

One word, though.

Smaug.

Smaug is epic.

Smaug was just brilliant in this film.

Smaug was magnificent.

Smaug's CGI is amazing.

Smaug is amazing.

That's all I have to say on Smaug for now.

Now, it's time to get into the SPOILER HEAVY DETAILED SECTION. Scroll down to the bottom if you just want my final rating.

How did I find this.

So, the film starts with a flashback to Bree, with ofcourse Pete's obligatory cameo of eating a carrot. A Bree scene wouldn't be complete without this, and an explanation isn't even necessary. Peter Jackson does what he wants. Anyway, Thorin enters the Prancing Pony, because Lord of the Rings reference, where he bumps into Gandalf. It then turns out that it's actually Gandalf who convinces Thorin to go on his quest to reclaim Erebor and all that. We then get several minutes of exposition which we've already either been told or figured out for ourselves, but in the Extended Edition (spoiler alert for that) we get several flashbacks to Thrain at the Moria battle, which 'subtly' begins an entire subplot that's only fulfilled within the Extended Editions. 

Cut to 12 months later as we come across Bilbo and co. during their journey, where they meet Beorn in his incarnation as a bear. He chases them back to his own house as he lets them stay for the night like a reluctant friend. "Alright fine you can stay round, ugh". In the theatrical version of the film, the Beorn scene seems somewhat brushed over and rushed, which is...certainly unlike a Hobbit Film. The Extended Edition however makes it both a more fun and enjoyable scene, but is also much more accurate to the book, and doesn't just include him as a temporary filler, but an actual character. Also, Azog basically gets replaced by Bolg as the villain for this film; Azog is summoned by the 'mysterious' Necromancer who wants him to be in charge of his army as a part of the bigger war. So yeah, say hey to Bolg!

After spending the night with Beorn, our heroes are provided with ponies by him which they use to reach Mirkwood, which to their apparent surprise isn't a nice happy place anymore. Despite Radagast telling them specifically that the Greenwood was sick in the first film, but meh, maybe they just didn't bother listening to him. I wouldn't blame them. Gandalf then basically gives everyone the middle finger as he takes his pony and rides away to begin his own subplot (the Extended Edition also has some exposition between Gandalf and Beorn about Dol Guldur, which really makes the story more solid and makes more sense as to why Azog was resurrected. Although Bolg still makes the most sense.) Mirkwood seems to be a place widely hated in the films by the Tolkien fans, and I can see why. The background seems like a cartoon and not very threatening or sinister. But in my opinion, whilst it seems like this to start with, you can see the woods getting darker as they walk further in and it appears more like I envisioned it when reading the books. That's not to say it's accurate, because it isn't. Again, I prefer Mirkwood in the Extended Edition. It shows more of the effects on the characters and, well, them having to cross the river is pretty much exactly how it went in the book. 

Before they know it, our heroes are ambushed by spiders, and Bilbo being Bilbo, manages to wake up before everyone else. Not sure why, just because Bilbo. He then shows us the utter badass he is by managing to free himself (going invisible with the ring) and stabbing a spider, thus resulting in his 'letter-opener' (good motivation Balin) being named Sting. And I have to say, I enjoyed the spider sequence (minus the end of it, but all in good time) as it's pretty much how I pictured it in the book. Plus, the action is fun.

Ugh. The cringe is too much.

However, this is where the film reaches its low point. Introducing two characters that weren't in the book, Legolas and Tauriel. I understand why Legolas was put in the film, and even Tauriel to a point, but come on Pete, did they really have to become so centric to the plot? Legolas being there makes sense, due to him being the son of Thranduil, and Tauriel kind of makes sense because the film is a little bit top heavy with male characters. Not that a female lead is necessary to a good story, but in a minor role she can't do much harm. Sadly, she didn't have a minor role. She ended up being in a forced love triangle with Legolas and Kili.

GTFO Legolas.

 Yes. Legolas and Kili. Just...no. Firstly, isn't it funny that it ends up being Kili, the only Dwarf in existence that looks like a good-looking human. No, it isn't funny. Because it's obviously just fuel for mindless fangirls to get them in the seats. It just doesn't work. Kili's a Dwarf, and Tauriel's an Elf, so they're both contradicting the lore by having a romantic interest in each other. Legolas and Gimli's friendship worked because it hadn't happened in ages. It means a lot less when some good-looking Dwarf and forced-in Elf hooked up 60 years beforehand. Not every film has to be a love story.

Something about him is...off.

Anyway, so yes, our heroes get captured by Legolas and Tauriel and are taken to the Halls of Thranduil and the Wood-Elves. What are they actually called? Wait no, nevermind, there's probably a Tol Ki En member out there giving me a death sentence now. Thranduil himself is... not how I imagined him. The Halls of the Woodland Realm (I'm gonna call them that) look nice, but Thranduil himself is too...bland. I know he's meant to be a snobby Elven King, which Lee Pace does get right, but he just doesn't seem as wise as I envisioned. Maybe this is just a nitpick, since the Wood-Elves are famous for being less wise and more dangerous, but...I dunno, something about him seems too uninterested in everything. 

Radagast is...normal!

On the other side of the world, in the High Fells, we see Gandalf investigating a bunch of Tombs when Radagast arrives jumpscare-style. Thankfully, he's a lot more toned down in this film. Anyway, Gandalf reveals in a dramatic fashion ("one of nine") that the tombs in fact belong to the Nazgul, and they've been summoned to Dol Guldur by their master. At this point, if you haven't realised already, you're basically told Sauron is the Necromancer. What a reveal, am I right?

No gif, but still just as bad.

Cut back to our heroes in Mirkwood, and Bilbo, with the use of the ring, frees the Dwarves from their prisons. Oh wait, priorities. First we have the obligatory

romance scene between Kili and Tauriel, where they fall in love in such a forced and cringeworthy way. Their dialogue is so boring, although it's meant to highlight the bridge they're building over their races. Except the bridge shouldn't be built! As I said, Legolas and Gimli were the first Elf/Dwarf friendship in years. That's why it was so focused on, and why they had such a rivalry. This just slaps that in the face over and over. Really bad scene.

Eventually we cut to Bilbo using the ring to find the keys and break the Dwarves out, as we get to a really fun and well-choreographed fight/action scene. The barrel part didn't suspend your disbelief too much, it was certainly within the realm of realism and agreed with physics, but it did start to get cartoonish as soon as Legolas, Tauriel and the Elves started their fight with the Orcs. A fun action scene, but the Orcs part really deviated from the book, albeit to allow for a cool fight scene. I don't know, but I doubt Tolkien would approve. Sadly. An enjoyable scene nonetheless. And yes, I am going to mention Kili being shot in the leg with a Morgul Arrow. It's unnecessary drama and only acts to make Tauriel a more prominent lead character and whatevs. I hate Kili. After the fight scene, Legolas and Tauriel bring a prisoner back to Thranduil. This scene literally only exists to make Tauriel go after Kili. That is literally it.

Laketown does look pretty cool.

On the shores of the big inconvenient lake between them and Mt. Lonely (Yes I know that's not what its actually called), our heroes find a bargeman named Bard, who reluctantly takes them to Laketown. The heroes of Middle-Earth, ladies and gentlemen. Able to be bribed by a bunch of random Dwarves who were clearly attacked by Elves, the latter of which happen to be vital trading partners to Laketown. Way to go Bard. Anyway, our heroes get into Laketown...and nothing much really happens for the next half an hour. Especially in the Extended Edition. It draaaaaaags. There are a few comedic moments, but overall it's just filler and really slows down the story. I don't hate it though, it's certainly not at the point of boring, but lots of it just isn't necessary. Especially Alfrid and the Master. The roles of those two have been increased too much, again more so in the Extended Edition. I really can't be bothered to go too much into detail in Laketown as I have no proper opinion on it, and if you've got this far then you've seen the film and know what happens so I won't just narrate it. Basically, the Dwarves convince everyone that they won't screw up and they go on their way towards the mountain.

Cut back to Gandalf and Radagast, this time at Dol Guldur. Despite none of this being specifically in the book, this was actually happening at the time during the Appendices. Although, the timeline is a bit iffy. Gandalf had already investigated Dol Guldur, and this time round was just getting Sauron out with the White Council. But still, it isn't too major and it still ties it in with the Lotr trilogy, even

"It's undoubtedly... a trap"

though it isn't a prequel. Having connections is fine though, especially since it's a subplot and barely gets any screentime. Gandalf enters Dol Guldur in an epic fashion as we see that Dol Guldur is inhabited by a crap ton of Orcs, including Azog. In the theatrical version, Gandalf uses a bunch of spells to try and reveal the hidden stuff in Dol Guldur, which is cool in its own. However, the Extended Edition saves the day once again as it becomes much more lore accurate and expanding on the Thrain subplot from earlier. Gandalf finds Thrain and it turns out Sauron is collecting as many of the rings as he can. Not sure why, but whatevs; he can't control them without the one ring. Saruman even said that in the first one!  

And cut back to Thorin and the company. They finally reach the Desolation of Smaug (basically Dale, but that would be a much more boring title. "The Hobbit: What's left of Dale"). They find their way up the Mountain thanks to Bilbo, despite it not being hard to notice and try to get the hidden door open before the sun sets. Although, the sun sets and they all lose hope. Their quest has failed. Hahahahahah, as if anybody believed that for a second. Bilbo finds out it's actually the last moon of autumn, again, very accurate to the book; they could have just opened the door straight away. Thank you Pete. They go into the Mountain, share a genuinely moving scene where they talk about what it used to be like accompanied with slow music, and then give Bilbo the task of finding the Arkenstone.

Back to Dol Guldur(..?). Odd transition scene for sure. Not complaining though,

I enjoy the events at Dol Guldur. It's some of the Appendices being adapted to the big screen. In the theatrical version, Gandalf is still using his spells and then gets ambushed by Azog who reveals his army, and then Gandalf runs, but in the Extended Edition, he and Thrain are having a conversation about....stuff. Thrain is basically just repeating Beorn's exposition from earlier in the EE. Anyway, the two then get ambushed by Azog, who reveals the army they have hidden away in Dol Guldur,

then the two run. They run across a bridge as one of the most epic scenes in the trilogy happens; Gandalf confronts Sauron. In the Extended Edition (spoiler alert) Sauron pulls Thrain into a vortex and kills him. It's then Gandalf alone against Sauron, and it is truly epic. The two get locked into a dark vs light battle, Sauron getting the upper hand a lot of the time. 

"Sauron."

The battle sways back and forth for a couple of minutes, before Sauron manages to push back Gandalf's shield and out of the darkness, walks a figure, covered in flame. Gandalf clearly is no match for it as it literally disintegrates his staff, tossing him around like some kind of doll and showing how powerful he truly is. The figure then pins Gandalf against the wall with ease. If you weren't able to realise this was Sauron by this point, you definitely know it now. The camera zooms in on Sauron, as he suddenly reverses colour and shows what we all know and love; the eye wreathed in flame. Poor Gandalf seems a little overwhelmed as all he can manage is "Sauron".  We then get some kind of Sauronception scene as we just see Sauron inside Sauron inside Sauron inside....you get the idea. Anyway, proper epic scene. I understand it may not be completely true to the lore because of Gandalf's magic limitations, but to be fair, all he was doing was generating a ball of light. He did the same in his fight against the Balrog.

Aaaaand back to Bilbo. He starts searching through piles of gold for the Arkenstone, as he has no idea what it looks like (despite it being the reason he's there in the first place. Good job Gandalf and Thorin) until he accidentally causes lots of gold to fall down from a hill, revealing an eye. He tries to go round the other side but he sees a tail, now starting to move. Good job Bilbo. We get several moments of tension before the eye opens and gets up, revealing the complete amazingness that goes by the name of Smaug. He gets into a fun book-accurate title-naming contest with Bilbo "Barrel-rider" before showing himself in all his Dragon glory. Smaug was done brilliantly in this film. There are several Tolkien fans who didn't like the inaccuracies with the book in having the Dwarves have Smaug chase them around, and trying to defeat him and all that. But to be fair, in the books, after the first introductions, they all just sort of waited outside the Mountain until Smaug went off to Laketown. Imagine half an hour of that. So I can see why Pete did what he did. Plus, how can you hate Smaug. The CGI on him is just awesome. Especially when he breathes fire, he really does seem as menacing as he was in the book. Smaug seriously is the best part of the whole trilogy. He's so bloody epic. Without him the trilogy may as well not exist.

"RAAAARRAAAAUUUGGHHGHRRAHHGH"

 Thorin then gets the idea of playing cat and mouse with Smaug to get to the forges and...do whatever. Their plan was kinda vague, not entirely sure why everybody went along with it. Nori thinks "We might have given him the slip", but Dwalin debunks that, saying he's too cunning. But then it turns out that's exactly what they did. I dunno, it just feels like the cat-and-mouse games kind of ruin everything previously said about Smaug. He was outsmarted easily and played right into whatever they wanted him to do. It's still cool, and he still remains just as threatening but I just feel like he was outsmarted way too easily. So the Dwarves with their cat and mouse tactics manage to lure Smaug to the forges (which they use him to light. Actually a pretty clever plan to be honest). They then melt a bunch of gold and Thorin rides the stream of unrealistic-looking gold. Yeah, um, I doubt he would be able to do that. Anyway they end up making a statue of gold which melts and engulfs Smaug. The Dwarves think they've defeated him then wham he jumps out, making a beeline for Laketown.

I am fire, I am DEATH.

Wow, what a cliffhanger. That, my friends, is the Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug. After this review I've realised there are quite a few more flaws in this film than I first thought, but overall, it's still my favourite out of the three. The action is more fun than the other two, the CGI is better and it has the most iconic moments in the book (Smaug) portrayed perfectly onscreen. There are quite a few flaws, but when you think about it, they are massively outweighed by everything that is good in this film. And that is why:

I am going to give the Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug a 7.5/10

I am also going to give the Desolation of Smaug Extended Edition an 8/10, due to more fleshed out characters like Beorn and and more general accuracy to the book, like Mirkwood.


Whew, that review took way longer than the first one. Thanks for reading and I'll see you in the conclusion to the Hobbit trilogy!